Oregon Trail
by Ragamuffin Girl
Summary: Meant to be funny but turned out into a little bit of angst with a good amount of drama. I played an old version of Oregon Trail and it kept a automatic journal which I added on to. Angtsy and drama-filled humor. CHAPTER 3 IS UP! Dib is in it by request.
1. 1st Attempt w/ Nny, Squee, Devi, Zim, an...

Body This was meant to be funny. It turned out to be not so funny...... 

April 1, 1848 

We started down the trail with: 

20 oxen 

25 sets of clothing 

2000 bullets 

2 wagon wheels 

2 wagon axles 

2 wagon tongues 

108 pounds of food 

We will now travel at a more grueling pace. 

April 2, 1848 

We didn't have any luck on this hunting trip! We returned to the wagon empty-handed. Nny's going hunting next time. 

April 3, 1848 

We shot 454 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat. Nny shot a rabbit, a squirel and a buffelo! 

We lost 20 pounds of food due to spoilage. Devi's fault, she didn't want to salt it. 

April 4, 1848 

We have arrived at the Kansas River Crossing. 

April 5, 1848 

We had no trouble floating the wagon across. Thank the god of fries that Jhonen draws skinny! 

April 6, 1848 

We lost 13 pounds of food due to spoilage. Devi...... 

April 7, 1848 

We have arrived at the Big Blue River Crossing. 

April 8, 1848 

We had no trouble floating the wagon across. 

April 10, 1848 

We shot 469 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat. Good job Nny! I managed to keep him from killing everything. 

We decided to rest for 2 days. 

April 12, 1848 

We decided to rest for a day. 

April 14, 1848 

We have reached Fort Kearney. Squee's afraid of the men with spears. 

April 16, 1848 

We shot 283 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat. I had to stop him from killing another buffelo. It was hard cuz I was unconsius after that rock hit my head. 

April 18, 1848 

We decided to rest for 2 days. Gotta keep healty! 

April 20, 1848 

Nny has the measles. So much for the healty...-_-' 

April 21, 1848 

We decided to rest for 3 days. 

April 26, 1848 

We have reached Chimney Rock. 

Zim has cholera. OH C'MON!! 

April 27, 1848 

We have reached Fort Laramie. 

April 29, 1848 

We didn't have any luck on this hunting trip! We returned to the wagon empty-handed. 

We decided to rest for 2 days. 

April 30, 1848 

Nny is well again. Good, we need him to get back to hunting. 

May 2, 1848 

Broken wagon wheel. 

We didn't try to fix the wagon wheel, but we replaced it from supplies. We've watsed too much time already so we just replace it. 

May 3, 1848 

We decided to rest for 2 days. 

May 6, 1848 

Zim is well again. Yay for my fellow Irken! 

May 8, 1848 

We have reached Independence Rock. 

May 9, 1848 

We shot 258 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat. We got a moose. 

May 10, 1848 

We found some wild fruit. A little bunny told me where to get it :P 

May 12, 1848 

We have arrived at the South Pass. NO SQUEE!!! A BUNNY DID NOT TALK TO YOU! ONLY I SPEAK WITH THE ANIMALS! YOU'RE JUST JEALIOUS CUZ THEY TALK TO ME!! 

Zim has a broken leg. Oh gawd......Devi blames the naturally weak Irken body. 

May 13, 1848 

We decided to rest for 2 days. Rise health, rise! Rise I say! 

May 14, 1848 

Squee has dysentery. There's something to be scared of. Don't worry, I'm sure Nny will tell you a story everynight to make you feel better..... 

May 17, 1848 

We lost 17 pounds of food due to spoilage. DEVIIIIIIII!!! 

May 18, 1848 

Squee got sick and died. WHOOHOOO!!! I mean--aww, too bad. 

May 20, 1848 

We have arrived at the Green River Crossing. 

May 21, 1848 

We had no trouble floating the wagon across. HA! The water of evil has yet to hit me! Don't get any ideas, Devi..... 

Heavy fog. Lost 1 day. You know, Nny hasn't been hisself lately ever since the death of Squee. 

May 23, 1848 

Zim got sick and died. *yells no but it turns to a wolf's howl* 

May 24, 1848 

Heavy fog. Lost 1 day. 

We lost 8 pounds of food due to spoilage. 

May 26, 1848 

We shot 353 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat. Me and Johnny are both not ourselves..... 

May 29, 1848 

Heavy fog. Lost 1 day. 

We lost 22 pounds of food due to spoilage. 

May 30, 1848 

We have reached Soda Springs. I don't care.....I care about nothing now...... 

Devi has the measles. 

May 31, 1848 

No grass for the oxen. I'm surpised Nny hasn't wanted to kill them..Devi claims us both to be moe depressed then normal. Then she wondered if that was poss 

ible. Beep her. We decided to rest for 3 days. 

June 5, 1848 

We shot 50 pounds of meat. 

Bad water. Maybe I'll die too.....I'm unsure if that's good or bad now... 

We have reached Fort Hall. 

June 7, 1848 

We decided to rest for 5 days. 

June 10, 1848 

Devi is well again. WHY COULDN'T SHE DIE INSTEAD OF ZIMMY?!*cries uncontrolably* 

June 16, 1848 

We have arrived at the Snake River Crossing. 

June 17, 1848 

The wagon tipped over while floating. We lost: 

2 wagon tongues 

Nny (drowned) He was my only remaining friend.....I'm suicidal now, but Devi has stopped my every attempt. Curse her 

June 18, 1848 

Devi has a fever. The curse worked. 

June 21, 1848 

We shot 279 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat. 

June 23, 1848 

We have reached Fort Boise. 

Bad water. KILL ME BAD WATER!! 

June 24, 1848 

No water. 

We decided to rest for 5 days. I don't want to rest...I want to die..... 

June 28, 1848 

Devi died of dysentery. I'm alone now. The bad water was supposed to kill me. WHY NOT ME!!! 

July 2, 1848 

No grass for the oxen. They are my only friends now...they are nice. 

July 3, 1848 

Bad water. 

I have arrived at the Grande Ronde in the Blue Mountains. 

July 4, 1848 

I decided to rest for 3 days. The oxen needed a break. I don't mind. I don't mind anything now... 

July 9, 1848 

I found some wild fruit. 

July 10, 1848 

No grass for the oxen. 

I have reached The Dalles. 

July 28, 1848 

I've decided that I cannot go on without my love, Zim nor without Nny, who I created a strong bond with. I'm about to disconnect my head from my body. Good-bye universe. May I see my friends again. 


	2. 2nd, more sucessful Attempt w/ Nny, Sque...

Okay, the ending is better and the story all around is a decent combo of drama and humor. I was on a sugar hi when I played this round so there is, of course, more funnyful things. And, oh yeah, a disclaimer! 

Disclaimer: I own IZ. I own OT. I own JtHM. I own Squee. I own a monkey. THAT'S WHY I'M QUEEN OF ALL THE TACOS AND I SWIM IN GOLD COINS AND MY NAME IS JHONEN VASQUEZ!!! THAT'S WHY I LIVE IN A GLASS HOUSE AND NOT A SHACK WITH INTERNET ACCESS! C'mon you ppl, do you even bother to read the disclaimer?? I DON'T OWN NUTHIN'!! JUST MY SHACK! IT'S MY SHACK!! LEAVE IT ALOOOOOONE!!!!! WHO CARES ABOUT THE DISCLAIMING, YOU WANT THE FIC!! It's rite there below. Now read. HURRY!! Read!!!!!! BEFORE THE WORLD IMPLODES!! Oh crap, here come the white-coats.... 

March 1, 1848 

We started down the trail with: 

20 oxen 

25 sets of clothing 

2000 bullets 

2 wagon wheels 

2 wagon axles 

2 wagon tongues 

100 pounds of food 

We will now travel at a more grueling pace. 

March 3, 1848 

We shot 343 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat. A buffalo. Squee, it's DEAD, it's not going to hurt you. 

March 4, 1848 

We have arrived at the Kansas River Crossing. 

March 5, 1848 

We had no trouble floating the wagon across. HAHAHA!!! STUPID WATER! NEVER KILL ME! 

March 6, 1848 

We have arrived at the Big Blue River Crossing. 

March 7, 1848 

We had no trouble floating the wagon across. 

March 8, 1848 

We shot 433 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat. GIR shot it with a laser. 

March 9, 1848 

We decided to rest for 2 days. Nny and GIR aren't happy with each other. A rivalry perhaps? 

March 12, 1848 

We have reached Fort Kearney. 

March 16, 1848 

We have reached Chimney Rock. 

March 17, 1848 

Heavy fog. Lost 1 day. 

March 18, 1848 

A blizzard delayed us 1 day. GIR froze out there when gathering food and I had go out to get him. We are defrosting him now..... 

March 19, 1848 

We have reached Fort Laramie. No one's died yet! All thanks to MY wonderful guidance. 

March 20, 1848 

GIR has a broken leg. Broke off when defrosting. 

March 21, 1848 

We decided to rest for 4 days. 

March 26, 1848 

A blizzard delayed us 1 day. 

March 27, 1848 

A blizzard delayed us 1 day. That's really not fair. :( 

March 30, 1848 

We shot 2 pounds of meat. Nice job GIR, you got two squirrels. Your turn, Nny. 

March 31, 1848 

We didn't have any luck on this hunting trip! We returned to the wagon empty-handed. we were in a rabbit mating ground o.0 

April 2, 1848 

We didn't have any luck on this hunting trip! We returned to the wagon empty-handed. I couldn't bring myself to kill something I can talk to! 

GIR was near death, but the doctor was able to help. That doctor was me. I know my robots ^-^ 

April 4, 1848 

We shot 70 pounds of meat. Nny found a ton of deer! 

We decided to rest for 3 days. 

April 5, 1848 

Squee is suffering from exhaustion. Well...he IS a little kid..... 

April 6, 1848 

Zim is suffering from exhaustion. Must be hard stressing about your near dead robot ten being all excited at it's safety. Better rest a while. 

April 9, 1848 

We didn't have any luck on this hunting trip! We returned to the wagon empty-handed. It was snowing and Nny shot a rock and a bush. -_- We have no food, our health is poor, and we are sick. GIR, stop singing the Doom Song! 

April 10, 1848 

We didn't have any luck on this hunting trip! We returned to the wagon empty-handed. Nothing was there. That song is very appropriate rite now.... 

April 11, 1848 

We didn't have any luck on this hunting trip! We returned to the wagon empty-handed. Let's trade, our health is now VERY POOR. No one wants to trade even 30lbs. And no, we are NOT going to trade 45 bullets for 9lbs! 

We traded 12 dollars for 30 pounds of food. FEAST! 

We decided to rest for 4 days. 

Nny is sick with typhoid fever. Crap. 

April 14, 1848 

Squee is well again. I was beginning to miss his annoying screams of fear anyway..... 

April 15, 1848 

Zim is well again. Yay! 

An Indian helped us find some food. She thought I was a goddess cuz I was talking to some birds. 

April 16, 1848 

Heavy fog. Lost 1 day. 

April 18, 1848 

We didn't have any luck on this hunting trip! We returned to the wagon empty-handed. Still nothing to shoot. We need food so that we can rest so that Nny will be better so that he can hunt and we can get food. But if he's sick then no one gets food but we need food to get him better---oh forget it! 

We traded 91 bullets for 30 pounds of food. Same freak from the 9lbs. 

April 20, 1848 

We didn't have any luck on this hunting trip! We returned to the wagon empty-handed. Better lower the rations and change our pace. 

We will now travel at a less strenuous pace. 

We decided to ration the food in meager portions. 

Zim has dysentery. I must admit...he's very cute when sick. 

April 21, 1848 

GIR is well again. 

Heavy fog. Lost 1 day. 

Zim was near death, but Riz was able to help. I knew that medical class would come in handy! 

April 22, 1848 

Nny is well again. FINALLY!! We need food! Go hunt now Nny! Now! 

A blizzard delayed us 1 day. Hunt after the blizzard! 

April 24, 1848 

We didn't have any luck on this hunting trip! We returned to the wagon empty-handed. Nny, are you SURE you're feeling better? 

We have reached Independence Rock. 

We traded 63 dollars for 100 pounds of food. That puppy face of GIR's is good!! No, you cannot have my dessert. Well.............okay, here you go GIR... 

We decided to rest for 7 days. 

April 25, 1848 

Zim died of typhoid. *howls like a lone wolf all night, keeping the rest of the party awake until Nny threw a can at my head. It hurt.* 

April 26, 1848 

Squee is sick with typhoid fever. 

April 29, 1848 

GIR has the measles(robots get ill?). At least our health is back to okay... 

May 2, 1848 

GIR was near death, but Riz was able to help. 

May 3, 1848 

We decided to ration the food in filling portions. 

May 5, 1848 

We will now travel at a more grueling pace. 

May 6, 1848 

We shot 105 pounds of meat. GIR took out his sadness and anger out on the deer. He's been lot more stand-offish ever since.....Zim died..... 

We decided to rest for 3 days. 

May 7, 1848 

Squee is well again. 

We lost 9 pounds of food due to spoilage. 

May 8, 1848 

GIR is well again. 

May 10, 1848 

GIR has a fever. I pity the poor robot. First his beloved master now this. 

May 12, 1848 

GIR got sick and died. At least we won't be so depressed anymore. He's with his master now. :,) 

May 13, 1848 

We have arrived at the South Pass. 

A fire in our wagon destroyed: 

1 wagon axle 

11 pounds of food 

We will now travel at a less strenuous pace. 

We decided to ration the food in meager portions. Health goes down, so we slow down.... 

May 16, 1848 

We shot 380 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat. Five deer were willing to die for our sake. 

We decided to rest for 4 days. 

May 18, 1848 

We found some wild fruit. 

May 22, 1848 

We found some wild fruit. Squee found it. How he was brave enough to go out on his own, who knows... 

May 23, 1848 

We decided to ration the food in filling portions. 

May 25, 1848 

Heavy fog. Lost 1 day. 

May 26, 1848 

We have arrived at the Green River Crossing. 

May 27, 1848 

The wagon tipped over while floating. I lost: 

18 sets of clothing 

Riz (drowned) 

Nny (drowned) 

Squee (drowned) 


	3. 3rd Attempt w/ Zim, Nny, Dib, GIR, and M...

Um.....okay, this was funny! I played again and here's what happen without even a minutes worth of playtime: 

March 1, 1848 

We started down the trail with: 

20 oxen 

20 sets of clothing 

2000 bullets 

3 wagon wheels 

3 wagon axles 

3 wagon tongues 

140 pounds of food 

We will now travel at a more grueling pace. 

March 3, 1848 

We have arrived at the Kansas River Crossing. 

March 4, 1848 

The wagon tipped over while floating. We lost: 

1 wagon tongue 

79 pounds of food 

GIR (drowned) 

Dib (drowned) 

Nny (drowned) 

Riz (drowned) 


End file.
